iLove You
by P. Franz
Summary: Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt, and it feels like I'm alive. Carly/Sam fic from Sam's POV. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**For documentation purposes...**

**The songs used while writing this chapter were..**

**Incubus - Love Hurts and Miranda Cosgrove - About You Now  
**

"Wanna smoke?"

I threw her a questioning glance, crumbling up a freshly printed Best Buy receipt into my fist as we walked out to the car.

"Sure."

She spoke with such joy in her voice. I had never known Carly to really smoke; what with Spencer being very protective and sheltering and whatnot; but as we got older, eventually moving out in to our own loft apartment, she started opening up and trying new things. Fortunately "new things" never led to drugs, but we _did_ drink every now and then, whenever we could come upon a friend to buy us a bottle of wine, or a 12-pack of beer. I was 20 and she was 19. Her birthday was January 14th, 1989 and mine was April 17th, 1988.

"Here."

I pulled a cigarette out of my almost empty cigarette pack and handed it to her, following it with an already lit lighter, waiting for her to touch her cigarette to the open flame and light it.

"Thanks."

I repeated the same routine with my own cigarette and stuffed both the pack and the lighter back into the pocket of my Adidas jacket.

"No problem."

Finally reaching the car, I threw my bags into the trunk and climbed into the front seat. Carly made herself cozy in the passenger seat. I drove a gun metal grey BMW M6 Convertible. Let's just say that, ever since my mother became best friends with just about every dealer at the casino, I was living life pretty well. Carly loved my car, and it meant a lot to me that she did. She told me pretty much every time she sat in it, if even for a split second. I couldn't blame her, though. Hell, _I_ loved it too. Not only did I love my car, I loved the way she looked in it. I loved the way her deep brown eyes glistened when the sun hit them just right and the way her hair gleamed as the wind played with it, running through it like delicate fingers, like I wish _my_ fingers could.

Ah, but me and Carly were best friends, had been since we were 8 years old, nothing would ever evolve between us except maybe a stronger friendship. _Maybe_ something resembling a co-dependence, which is _kind _of what we had now with the apartment and all, but nothing even _remotely_ close to what _I_ wanted. It was useless to think about it, though; all I was doing was driving myself crazy about it, just like I had been for the past 5 years, every single waking moment I was with her. I was crafty, though, because I never let it show. Not once.

"Tell the car to hurry up, I'm cold. I love it but, damn, it's slow. Your bike heats up faster than this."

I laughed and revved the engine in an attempt to get it to heat up faster.

"You've got like three jackets on."

"Two."

"Whatever."

I laughed. It was true. She walked out of the apartment that afternoon with a flimsy girly jacket on. You know, the kind you see in the store and you just think to yourself, _Why would anyone buy that, it _can't_ be warm at all. Not even a little bit._ The kind that looks like you might as well have just wrapped a thin layer, okay maybe two layers, of news paper around your torso and you'd achieve about the same amount of warmth; so I gave her my work jacket out of the car.

"Your work jacket isn't even warm, what are you talking about?"

I shrugged.

"It keeps me warm at work."

Probably because when I wear it at work, I'm also trudging through the woods carrying 20 pound battery packs and magnets on my back. _That's_ what keeps me warm.I backed out of my parking spot and sped out of the lot, on route to me and Carly's apartment, cigarettes between our fingers.

The drive wasn't more than 15 minutes long and we were there in no time. I got stuck with all the bags while Carly grabbed the keys out of my hand and ran ahead to unlock the door. I realized that it's pretty hard to carry 10 bags of various Christmas gifts up a flight of stairs by myself.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Let me grab some of those from you."

I refused, not wanting to take the chance of her seeing what I bought her in one of the bags.

"Nah, I got it, Cupcake. Don't worry about it."

I winked at her with a smirk on my face. She just smiled and conceded, closing the door behind me. I walked in and set the bags carefully on the couch.

"I don't even feel like wrapping anything tonight, I'm _way_ too tired."

"Aw, come on. You know we always procrastinate and wrap presents on the 23rd. We can't wait any later, tomorrow's Christmas Eve."

"Yeah, and I have to work. This is the first time I've had to work on Christmas Eve. It's already 9:30. I'm not going to get hardly any sleep tonight."

Carly put on a pouty face that only _she_ could wear; on anyone else it would have looked funny, but not on her. That face made me weak in the knees.

"Pleeeease, Sam?"

"Come on Carly, don't do the face. You know that's not fair, I'm powerless against the face."

She held it until I gave in.

"Okay, fine. We'll wrap them tonight, then, just for you."

"And because it's tradition in this household!"

I loved it when she referred to us like we were married or something. Or maybe it was just me reading too much into it, either way, it made me feel good. I smiled, taking off my jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. Carly plopped herself down in the middle of the floor with a box full of wrapping paper and name tags, a pair of scissors, and some Scotch tape; giving me a once over with her eyes. I cocked an eyebrow.

"When are you going to get your butterfly tattoo touched up?"

I looked down at it, the black and blue had faded and it still needed to have the purple put in it.

"Good question. I might try to go Saturday night. You want to come?"

"Of course!"

"Sweet, it's a date."

She beamed. I enjoyed being able to make subtle comments like that and not have her pick up on what I really meant. I often wondered what would happen if she actually _did_ catch on. Would she straight up tell me to get out of her sight, that she never wanted to see me again? Or would she feel bad about it, and apologize for "leading me on" because she had no idea, would she hug me and say she's sorry and that everything will be okay? Or would she confess the same to me, switching our positions completely and putting me in her shoes and her in mine? My head always hurt when I got that obsessed with thinking about it.

_Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt, and it feels like I'm alive._

"Sam?"

I blinked and looked down at her.

"Sorry, what?"

"You okay? You seem a little out of it."

"I'm fine. Just got a little headache."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

I rubbed the back of my head, rustling my hair. The long, blonde curls I used to wear were gone. My hair was still fairly long, but not as long as it had been 4 years ago. I straightened it almost every day now, and the beautiful true blonde had faded into a less appealing sandy blonde that often bothered me. Carly always told me how much she liked the color of my hair, though, so I never dyed it or anything. Carly's hair, however, stayed the exact same over the past 4 years. She kept those same beautiful, dark brown waves that attracted me to her in the first place. Even as she aged, it still looked good on her. I loved watching her play with her hair, much like she was at this very moment.

"I'm just gonna go get some aspirin. Don't go through the bags, okay?"

"Why? You have a surprise in here for me?"

She rustled the bags around, pretending to snoop through them. I laughed.

"Yeah, somethin' like that. Be right back."

I sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed the aspirin bottle; popping two into my hand then into my mouth, followed by a drink from an open 2 liter Dr. Pepper bottle in the fridge. When I came back in the living room, I found Carly sitting in the same position I left her in, only there was a gigantic smile across her face.

"Aw, you looked, didn't you?"

"No! …yes."

I sighed.

"I'm sorry, Sam; I couldn't help it! You shouldn't have even told me I had anything."

She giggled. I did the same.

"Well, do you like it?"

"Yes! I love it!"

She exploded, causing me to smile.

"Good. Because I'm not taking it back. Ha ha. You can have it now if you want, but you have to promise you'll show it off to everyone."

"Promise."

I motioned for her to take it out of the bag. She dug her hand deep into the light brown Dillard's bag beside her and pulled out a little white box with 'Anne Klein' printed in gold letters gracing the top. Carly pulled the top off and set it down beside her. Fingering the watch gently, she slipped it over her hand to her wrist and snapped the clasp together. She held it out in front of her, mouth agape.

"It's beautiful, Sam!"

"You think so?"

She nodded enjoyably.

"Good. Look underneath it."

She took it off and turned it upside down. Grinning with excitement, she read what was imprinted beneath in small script.

_Carly and Sam_

_BFF_

"Aw, Sam."

I smiled.

"Bet you weren't expecting that, were you?"

"Nope."

With a contented sigh, she blurted out.

"God, I love it. But you really didn't have to get me anything. _Especially _something this nice."

I shrugged, still smiling.

"I wanted to. Besides, I missed your birthday this year, so I hoped this would make up for it."

"Believe me, it _more_ than made up for it."

At that moment, I was trapped in her eyes; unable to move or make a sound. She was so beautiful, so absolutely perfect, in my eyes; and I wanted her _so_ bad. But I wasn't about to fuck up an 11 year friendship for some feelings that probably shouldn't have been there in the first place.

"So are you still coming over for Christmas? Spencer's setting a place for you at the table, like always."

I shook my head in an attempt to escape the daydream I was trapped in.

"Yeah, of course I'm coming. I haven't missed a Christmas yet, have I?"

She put her watch back on and put the top back on the box, looking up at me from below.

"Just checking. You don't make your personal life national news so I didn't know if you had a boyfriend that wanted you to go to his house or something."

We went through this every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas; and every year I gave her the same answer.

"Nah, boys are still gross. And besides, all of them around here suck, anyway."

She laughed.

"True, true."

I clapped my hands together.

"Alright, let's wrap this shit so I can get to bed."

We finished wrapping presents around 11 o'clock. She told me to go on to bed, that she'd be up watching TV for a while. I told her okay and started to head back to my room. Then I realized what time it was. There was no way I'd get up early enough to take a shower before work in the morning. I turned a 180 and took a few steps forward.

"Hey."

She looked up at me from the TV.

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go take a shower. I probably won't get up in time to do it in the morning."

She smiled.

"Okay, I'll be here."

I smiled back, bending down to untie my work boots.

"Alright."

I set them off to the side and continued to the bathroom.

After my shower, I walked back through the living room to drop my towel in the washing machine. I heard her squeak out something over the noise of the TV.

"Done already?"

I poked my head into the living room.

"Yeah."

I ran the towel through my hair once more before throwing it into the washer.

"So, what are you watching?"

I inquired, walking over and sitting in the chair next to her beside the couch.

"The Notebook."

"Didn't you try to get me to watch that one time?"

"Yeah, and you didn't want to because it's 'just a sappy love story'."

We both laughed.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"I'd ask you to watch it with me if you didn't have to go to bed so early."

I chuckled and got up to turn the heat up; I noticed her shivering a bit.

"I might be able to stay up a little longer and watch a bit with you."

I smiled as I made a place for myself on the couch beside her.

"Okay."

She smiled so big that I thought for sure the corners of her mouth were touching her ears.

"Want under the blanket?"

"Yeah."

She lifted it up and threw it over my legs. A small burst of air hit my nose and I could smell her perfume, every little bit of it. SoCal by Hollister. It smelled so fucking good, so good that it sent chills down my spine; I could feel burning at the bottom of my stomach.

"You okay?"

I looked down at her, half grinning.

"Yeah, why?"

She looked so concerned.

"You're breathing hard. Just wondering."

"Oh, my bad."

I laughed nervously. She shot me a confused glance then turned back to the movie.

"So what's this movie about, anyway?"

"It's a love story. Just watch it. You'll like it."

"I know _that_ much, but like, what happens?"

"I'm not gonna tell you and spoil it for you. Just watch."

"Fine, fine."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chapter 2 for you guys. It might be a bit before I can get Chapter 3 up. I'm working 10 hour days and I don't get off until kind of late every day, including weekends. These first 2 chapters I already had written up prior to posting this. But, never fear, I **_**do**_** intend on finishing this story (oh, and it's a **_**GREAT**_** ending, too. :P). But please be patient with me, it will be updated whenever I finish the chapters. Thanks for reading and I appreciate your reviews!!**

About an hour later, the movie was over. It was raining now; I could hear the endless, heavy drops hitting the roof above me and the windows to my left. I lay there half asleep on the end of the couch, blanket half hanging off my legs, with Carly's head in my lap and the rest of her body sprawled out across the couch beside me. It felt nice to be that close to her; even though she was asleep, so it really didn't count. I checked my watch. 12:30. I looked around the apartment, as if that would somehow help me think of a way to get up without having to wake _her_ up. I couldn't manage to find a way, though. Shaking her gently, I whispered in her ear.

"Carly…"

Nothing.

"Carly…"

A little bit louder this time. She shifted slightly.

"Sam…"

I stopped. She continued.

"Don't stop…"

I pulled away from her, confused. I could only imagine what was going on deep in her mind, wondering to myself if she was caught in the dream world that I had lived in for so long.

"Car-"

She opened her eyes slowly and focused on me, seeing the clearly befuddled look on my face, my hands up in the air.

"What?"

"N-nothing. Nothing. I thought I heard something but it was just the walls creaking."

She stopped like she was considering it as a possible answer or something.

"Come on Sam. I know you well enough to know that creaking walls don't freak you out like that."

I couldn't help but smile.

"O-okay. I had a weird dream. That's all."

"Sure."

She sat up and rubbed my arm.

"You're acting weird, Sam. What's up?"

"It's nothing. I promise. No need to worry."

I pulled some of her hair out from her shirt and tucked it behind her ear.

"I'm gonna go to bed now. Gotta be up in 5 hours."

She watched me as I stood up. I turned around to face her again.

"Come on."

Bending down slightly; I stretched my arms out toward her, slid one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, and picked her up.

"Time for bed."

I smiled at her and she smiled back. She slipped her left arm behind my back, giving me chills, and held on tightly. We were so close that I could feel her warm, moist breath on my lips; it was like ecstasy to my senses. Her smile had never been so enduring to me, her eyes never so deep and beautiful. And her lips, so plump and glossy, had never looked so enticing and kissable as they did right now. Everything about her was so addicting at that moment, especially her perfume; even the slightest scent of it drove me crazy with lust. Crazy thing was, she had no idea how bad I was torturing myself by simply being in her presence. I carried her into the hallway between our rooms and stopped.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I-"

I lifted my eyebrows as to say, 'What?'.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

I was taken aback by her request.

"I mean, it's cold and…your room is warmer than mine and all."

I smirked.

"Uhh…s-sure. If you want."

Was she seriously asking me this? Surely she didn't mean it the way I twisted it around in this fucked up head of mine. I wondered to myself if she was still stuck in my dream world or something.

"I appreciate it. I'm just, you know, feeling a little lonely tonight, after watching The Notebook and stuff… You understand, right? Thanks, though."

She smiled at me. So it was the _movie_. Maybe I should have watched it with her a long time ago when she first asked me to.

"No problem, Cupcake. No need to feel lonely, you'll always have me."

I gave her the biggest grin I think my face has ever experienced. Part of me hoped she understood what I meant, but part of me hoped she didn't. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. Especially not tonight.

"Aw, Sam. You're so sweet. I'm lucky to have you as a best friend."

She hugged me. A best friend, that's what I thought. What more did I really expect, though? She ran her fingers through my still damp hair innocently, building up every unnecessary thought ever created in my head and dropping them on me one at a time in a domino effect that caused my whole body to tense up. I had to bite back a horrific moan in the back of my throat.

"You have no idea, Carly Shay. No idea."

I chuckled uncomfortably.

"What's that mean?"

"Nothing."

_Just that I would do anything for you as long as it would make you happy. And as long as there's a smile on your face, I'm as happy as I could ever be. _I carried her into my room and dropped her on the bed. What had gotten into her? She was sending me mixed signals; something she had never done before. I tried to blame it on the movie like she did, or the theory that my mind was just playing tricks on me; neither of which worked. I didn't even want to go to sleep now because I knew the closer I came to getting in bed with her, the crazier I was going to become. All I could think about were bad things, things that _really_ shouldn't happen, things _I_ couldn't _let_ happen regardless of how much I wanted them to. And the more I tried to act like it was no big deal, the bigger the deal became. It was hopeless; everything was _always_ so awkward for me.

_I pushed her down on the bed, onto her back, and settled down on top of her; pushing my hips down onto hers, they fit together like two puzzle pieces. Her hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me closer, and our lips locked together like two magnets. I had been eagerly awaiting this moment for too long. I ran my tongue along her pursed lips, begging to be let in and she granted me entrance. Our tongues intertwined, dancing to the erotic melody stuck on repeat in my head. My hands explored her warm body, making her moan sensually against my mouth._

"_Sam…"_

_I broke our kiss; and, moving to her neck, planted small kisses there and along her collarbone._

"Sam."

I blinked hard before looking up at her.

"I can tell you're really tired, get some sleep."

I hesitated.

"I'm gonna go smoke first, okay?"

"Just smoke inside this time, it's raining. You'll get wet."

I smirked and mumbled under my breath.

"Too late."

"What?"

"I'll be fine."

"Want me to come?"

She looked at me questioningly.

"Yes."

I headed for the back door, pausing to grab my work jacket and cigarettes, all the while cursing words with dirty double meanings. She jumped off the bed to follow me, still wearing her paper-thin jacket. I looked back at her as I unlocked the door, noting to myself that she was going to freeze her cute little ass off outside. No. Stop. She was going to freeze her ass off outside. I opened the door for her and she walked outside, shaking and shivering with every step; I followed her. It was raining steadily; grey clouds crying above us accompanied by God's footsteps around them, thundering down on us.

"You're going to freeze out here, you know. Go put another jacket on, silly."

She shook her head.

"I'll be fine. Just give me a cigarette."

I sighed.

"Why are you smoking so much lately?"

"So much? This is only the third one I've had today. I'd say that's next to nothing compared to your pack-a-day habit over there."

I smiled, chuckling.

"Okay, okay."

I took two out of the pack and gave her one of them along with my lighter. She lit her cigarette and handed the lighter back to me. I took it from her and lit mine, shoved everything back in my pocket, then took my jacket off.

"Here."

"Keep it, you need it."

I just stared at her with a stern look on my face.

"What? Just keep it, Sam."

She giggled; and I relaxed my face, throwing it over her shoulders. All she could do was smile as she took a hit of her cigarette and exhaled into the cold night air; smoke, followed by a puff of vaporized carbon dioxide, escaped her lungs.

"Thanks."

I smiled.

"No problem, Carls."

A few minutes of silence preceded Carly hooking her arm around mine and leaning her head on my shoulder. The rain had calmed within the five minutes we had been out there; it maintained a slight drizzle, wind occasionally blowing a couple drops in our direction.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey."

"Do you ever miss doing iCarly?"

I thought about it for a second. _Did_ I miss hanging out with her all the time? _Did_ I miss acting crazy with her and palling around all day? Of course. Did I miss taking shots at Freddie and being mean to him just because of the fact that he liked Carly and I was jealous? Yes, I did.

"Yeah, I do. A lot."

She picked her head up and looked at me.

"Do _you_?"

"Yeah. Sometimes. It was a lot of fun, but there was a lot of drama that came with that web show. Haha."

"True. But it was still worth it getting to hang out with you…and Freddie all the time."

"Speaking of Freddie…I always wanted to ask you, seriously…why were you so mean to him all the time?"

I smirked.

"Ah, I don't know. He was just a dork. And it was easy."

"See, I always thought that, but then over the years I learned something about you."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"What could you possibly learn about me that you didn't already know?"

"Well, I realized that you always make snide, degrading comments when you're offended by something or feeling awkward in a situation."

I was surprised. _I_ didn't even realize that about myself.

"I do not. The little skunk bag asked for it every time he opened his mouth."

"Point made."

I paused, grinning.

"Point taken."

"So what in the hell could you possibly have been _so_ offended by that Freddie did?"

I coughed.

"I don't know. Maybe it was the fact that he's such a nerd and every time he talked, I felt my level of coolness go down?"

"Ha ha. Very funny. Now what's the real reason?"

"There isn't one. Wasn't one. Whatever. What's with the third degree, Ms. Shay? Want me to kick you out of my bed tonight?"

She giggled.

"I'm joking. But seriously. Why do you want to know so badly?"

"I don't know. Just wanted to get a little insight into what makes you tick."

"Oh, is that it?"

She held a smile on her face.

"Well, if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Well…in that case, I know you have a gun in there somewhere, so get to talking and then you can use it on me afterwards."

We both laughed. Enough about that; I was ready to go to bed now.

"Hey, you wanna go see a movie tomorrow? My treat."

"It's Christmas Eve. No movie theater's going to be open."

"You don't think?"

"Well, I guess we'll see. What movie?"

"Mmm…I don't know yet. I'll let you know."

"Alright."

I finished my cigarette and flicked it over the balcony.

"Hurry up; it's kind of cold out here."

She gave me a '_What_ did you just say?' look.

"You shouldn't have taken your jacket off, _silly_."

Carly hugged my jacket around her body warmly, rubbing in the fact that I gave it to her. I shook my hand in her direction, unashamedly shivering.

"I don't need it."

"Okay."

She took her sweet time taking the next couple hits of her cigarette. Looking over at me, she could tell I was lying when I said I didn't need my jacket. She flicked her cigarette over the balcony and turned to me, opening up her jacket.

"Come'ere."

Against my better judgment, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me; I could feel her body heat radiating into my pores, warming me up slowly. She slid her arms leisurely around my shoulders, encasing me in her warmth.

"Better?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She fit perfectly into my arms, just as I had imagined. And there was that _damn_ perfume; it did horrid things to me.

"You smell good, Carls."

She giggled.

"Thank you."

I could feel her breathing on my neck; it felt nice on my chilled skin. I shivered.

"You're welcome."

I loved this too much. I pulled away from her.

"Let's go back inside and get some sleep."

"Okay."

I opened the door, allowing her to go in first, and then closed it behind me.

"It's nights like these that I wish we had a fireplace."

I agreed with her.

"What time is it?"

I smiled as she checked her new watch excitedly.

"About five till one."

"Damn. Four and a half hours of sleep. That sucks."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault you're not going to get any sleep."

"No, it's not. You know me, and you know I don't do anything I don't want to do."

"I guess."

"Yeah, so let's go to bed."

I yawned.

"I'm so fucking tired; I should probably just call in tomorrow."

"Well, I'm off tomorrow; so if you do, we can spend the whole day together at Spencer's."

Spencer still lived in the same apartment he did 4 years ago. Oh, the memories we had in _that_ place. iCarly, first of all, and the many sleepovers, movie nights, and birthday parties. I missed being there all of the time; although, here, I had Carly all to myself in our _own_ apartment. No Spencer to interrupt or break things, no Freddie to be in the way or linger his watchful eye over us at all times, and no random kids charging in to play $5 mini golf at odd times of the day; it was great.

"That sounds fun; I'll see what I feel like when I get up in the morning."

I smiled, doubting that I'd call in, but wishing I would. Carly smiled back at me hopefully. She took off my jacket and threw it on the couch as we made our way back to my room. I stopped us at my door.

"You still sure you wanna sleep with me tonight?"

That sounded awfully sexual to me; maybe I should reword it.

"I mean, are you still feeling lonely? Still want me to keep you company tonight?"

That sounded better. She smiled.

"Yeah, if you still don't mind."

Her innocent face morphed into this sad, depressed puppy dog face that I just couldn't refuse.

"Of course I don't mind."

I smiled, as did she.

"And thanks again."

"No problem, Cupcake."

I ran my finger across her chin and winked at her. Carly's smile widened; those soft, luscious lips of hers forming that perfect smile that I loved oh-so-much. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I contained myself for the sake of our friendship. Motioning her into my room, she strolled in and jumped on my bed, submerging herself into my thick black and blue covers. She was so cute with her head sticking out, those dark brown eyes staring at me playfully between beautiful, silky locks of brown hair. I smiled mentally, hoping it didn't show on my face. I sauntered over to my side of the bed and sat down beside her. After adjusting my pillows, I threw my feet onto the bed and laid down on my back.

"There's no point in me even going to bed. I'm just going to end up oversleeping and be late for work, then I'll end up getting written up."

She giggled, turning over on her side to face me. I stared into the ceiling blankly.

"It'll be okay. Where are you going, anyway?"

"Tacoma. It's like 45 minutes away."

"You'll be able to get a nap on the way, then."

"Yeah, I guess. We've got a whole pad to cut, though. We have to mag and flag it, too. All in one day."

"Doesn't sound like it'll take too long."

"Yeah."

I snickered.

"You haven't seen the location we'll be at, though. It's thick forest shit. We'll probably be pulling at least 12 hours today and getting per diem."

"Well, at least you'll be getting good money."

She laughed.

"I guess."

I kept silent for a few seconds.

"Damn, I _really_ don't want to go in tomorrow."

"Aw, you need the money, though. After that expensive watch you just bought me."

I laughed.

"I'm not worried about that. I've been saving up for that for months now."

I turned my head and looked over at her; she was beaming.

"Try and get some sleep. Tomorrow won't be near as bad as you think it will."

"If you say so. Goodnight, Carls."

"Night, Sam."

I turned over on my side and faced the wall; she didn't move.

After about 30 minutes of complete silence, I _still_ couldn't manage to fall asleep. Suddenly, I felt Carly stir behind me; she scooted closer to me and slid her arm around my waist. It shocked me so much that I jolted. She quickly withdrew her arm but said nothing. I pretended to be asleep so that the situation was not made any more awkward than it already was. Maybe she was used to hugging a stuffed animal next to her as she slept. I didn't know; I had never really gone in her room long enough to examine if she had stuffed animals lying around or not. I decided to just write it off as a stuffed animal withdrawal symptom. Surely it wasn't a conscious action…surely…

**Btw, 100 points to anyone who can figure out what Sam's occupation is. ;)  
**

**Hope you enjoyed it! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's Chapter 3. See, it didn't take **_**that**_** long. This chapter is really just a bunch of drabble. It's not that great in my opinion. But then again, I am my biggest critic; I don't think anything I do is worth much.**

**ANYWAY. Enjoy! R&R!**

**Chapter 4's a'commin' next.**

**Songs used: Incubus - Love hurts, Demi Lovato - Don't Forget, and Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most  
**

The next morning, Carly was up before I was, surprisingly enough. She was in the kitchen making breakfast at 5:30. I got up at 6:00 on the dot and threw on my work clothes: ragged blue jeans with holes in them, Doc Martin Industrial steel toed boots, and my trusty work shirt with my name and the company logo on it. I always felt so important when I wore my work shirts. As soon as I came trudging into the kitchen, she handed me a thermos filled with coffee.

"Just how you like it; lots of creamer and lots of sugar."

I smiled, despite the fact that I was half asleep.

"Thanks, Carls."

"You're welcome."

I took a sip of it; it was warm in my stomach.

"So you decided to go to work today?"

I sighed.

"Yeah, I figured I might as well just get it over with. Plus, I think it's still raining outside, so I doubt we'll have to do any work today, anyway."

She smirked.

"See, I told you it wouldn't be as bad as you thought."

"I guess."

"You have time for some breakfast?"

I checked my watch. 6:07.

"Nah, I better get going. Thanks for the coffee, though."

"No problem."

She took a step toward me and gave me a hug. She was so warm; and I couldn't help but notice how her head fit perfectly between my neck and collarbone. More proof that we were made for each other. I picked up my jacket off the couch and paused.

"Where'd you put my keys?"

"She poked her head out of the kitchen doorway and pointed to the bookshelf in front of me.

"Right there."

I looked up and smiled embarrassingly.

"Thanks."

"Welcome. Have a good day at work."

"Yeah. Have a good day at home. Don't work too hard."

She giggled.

"I'll try not to."

I smirked and went out the door.

Hours later, as I was sitting in the company truck enjoying the $4 pizza and five $1.50 a piece taquitos that I picked up at the truck stop, I busied myself with playing around on my cell phone. Right now, I was texting Carly, asking her what the plans were for tonight. Just as I was about to send her a text, I received one from a number that wasn't in my phone book; I didn't recognize it, either.

'What's up, Puckett?'

Whoever it was knew my last name…and typed unnecessarily proper for a text message. …then again, so did I.

'Who is this?'

'Freddie.'

Freddie? Why was he talking to me? And how did he get my number?

'Fredward, how did you get my number?'

'Carly gave it to me.'

Had he been talking to Carly this whole time and I didn't know it? I quickly sent a text to Carly.

'Have you talked to Freddie lately?'

'yea, the other day why?'

Seriously? Freddie? I thought we were past all of this.

'Why is the dorkwad talking to you?'

'i dont know. when are you getting off?'

'I'll be home around 4.'

And with that, I put my phone on silent and stuck it in my shirt pocket.

I didn't end up getting home until almost five. Carly was sitting on the couch watching TV waiting for me when I showed up. She startled me slightly, standing up abruptly when I walked in the door. I knew why she was mad; I'd been ignoring her texts and phone calls for the last 4 hours, not wanting to think about the possibility of her and Freddie "talking" again. For all I knew, Carly could be having a dork relapse. She _did_ ask me about him last night, and she _did_ think about dating him that one time like 3 years or so ago. The thought of it made me sick to my stomach. But, of course, I played it off as if nothing ever happened.

"What's up, Carls?"

She stared at me, arms crossed and eyebrows bent into an evil glare, steadily burning a hole through my face. I cocked an eyebrow.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Where have you been? You said you'd be here at four. It's already 5 o'clock."

"Well, technically I said _around_ 4…but-"

"_Sam._"

She said my name so fervently.

"_Okay._ Sheesh! My phone died, it's not like I could have called or anything. What are you, anyway? My mom?"

Why was I getting so upset about this? And better yet, why was _she_? It's not like we were dating or anything, I didn't have to report to her. She didn't have to worry if I was off cheating on her with someone else. We weren't dating…we weren't dating…

"I was just kind of worried, okay? We're supposed to go see a movie tonight, remember?"

I had totally forgotten about the movie.

"Yeah, but they're open until 11. It's only 5."

When we argued about something, or more so when _she_ was mad at _me_ for something, it was like we were an old married couple, she was always right and I was always wrong.

"Well, what are we going to go see?"

"I don't know. What's out?"

"I was thinking Bedtime Stories, with Adam Sandler."

I sighed.

"If you really want to."

I rolled my eyes, finally taking a break to get my jacket off and throw it on the couch.

"You don't want to see it?"

I inched slowly towards the kitchen, inadvertently trying to get away from her.

"Not really, it seems kind of childish."

"Please, Sam?"

I stopped and turned to look at her, pausing to note the desperate look on her face.

"O-okay, fine. Whatever you want."

"And is it okay if Freddie meets us there? He's bringing his new girlfriend."

I sighed heavily, gritting my teeth and looking off at the ground, completely ignoring the fact that this was sort of a double date now.

"Why do you want him to come?"

"Neither of us have seen him in a while. It'll be like old times."

She chuckled.

"Well, plus his new girlfriend."

"Did it maybe occur to you that I wanted to _keep_ it that way? Not seeing him and all."

"Why do you hate him so much, Sam?"

_Because he likes you, and _I_ like you…and it's not fair that he's always had a better chance at getting you than I ever will._

"Because he's a fucking dork."

I turned around, pausing slightly, hoping that she'd offer a response.

"Sam…"

There was an odd fear in her voice.

"Tell him he better not be late; I'm not waiting on him. I'll be in the shower."

"Are you almost ready?"

My voice echoed over the television.

"The movie starts at 7:55."

"I'm coming. Hold on."

"It's almost 7:30. We're going to be late, and then I'll look like a hypocrite because I made you bitch at Freddie about not being late."

"We'll make it. I have to finish my makeup before we leave."

"What are you wearing, anyway? You know Freddie and his date are going to show up wearing matching argyle sweaters or something stupid like that."

I heard her laugh from the bathroom.

"You'll see in just a second."

I was sitting on the couch; dressed in my "nice jeans", a white tuxedo shirt, and a black Stafford vest over the top of the shirt with my multicolored Converse propped up on the coffee table in front of me. I felt it was a little too dressy for the movies, but I'm Sam Puckett; I always dress to impress. And the _one_ person I cared most about impressing was my so-called "date" tonight, Carly Shay. The bathroom light went off, taking my endless Carly thoughts in my head and throwing them directly in front of me. Out pranced Carly in a stunningly amazing little black dress, hair and makeup done perfectly. She should be a model.

"What do you think?"

She spun around in a circle, showing me all angles of the dress. I could barely even speak.

"Looks…uhh…very…black."

Thank you, Captain Obvious. I smiled blissfully. Her face bent into a confused grin.

"Oh…kay."

_Clearly,_ I didn't hear myself speaking.

"Oh, my shoes; be right back."

She scuttled off back to her room to take another 10 minutes to pick out shoes.

"Black? Seriously?"

Could I have been a _bit_ more evident? Carly probably thought I was a nut job. She came rushing back into the living room, still trying to slip one shoe on as she went.

"Ready to go?"

I shot up from my seat on the couch, nearly tripping over the coffee table in front of me.

"What I meant was…I think the dress looks great on you."

I gave her my charming Sam smile. She gleamed back.

"Thanks."

Carly and I on a "double date" with Freddie and his girlfriend, who would have ever thought _that_ would happen. Turns out, I was wrong about him and his date matching. However, he did show up wearing one of those annoying sweater vests. You know, the ones that _scream_ "mama's boy". And wouldn't you know it; he _still_ lived with his mother. I bet she even picked out his outfit for tonight.

"What's up, Fredward?"

He gave me that 'Oh, it's _you._' face then nodded.

"Sam."

I smirked evilly at him.

"Guys, this is my girlfriend, Heather."

Carly and I both nodded and spoke in unison; I'm sure it struck her as a bit weird.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too."

"How long have you and Freddie been dating?"

Carly posed the question; I didn't really care to know.

"Three months."

She chirped from beside him, as proud as could be.

"Three months, seven days, three hours, and…"

He looked at his watch.

"…thirty-four minutes."

She giggled, linking her arm around his.

"He's so cute and smart."

I bent my eyebrows at him.

"Since when?"

Carly elbowed me in the side.

"Don't."

"Ow. Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"What about you two? How long have you been together?"

Carly and I looked at each other, then at Freddie.

"Oh, they're not-"

"We're not together."

My voice rang out above everyone else's, including the music that was playing outside the theater. We were left in an awkward silence. I gave a hearty chuckle; everyone else followed with a nervous laugh.

"No, no. We're just best friends, right Carls?"

I threw my arm around her shoulder and pulled her next to me, smiling.

"Yeah, we've known each other since we were like 9."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about."

"Yeah, it's okay. Sam looks like a guy, anyway."

Oh, but it was true, I did, and I didn't care. He shrank back, afraid that I would dart after him or something. I smirked.

"Touché', Fredward."

I tried to give him credit every time he took a stab at me, only because it rarely ever happened, not because I actually cared. You know me, though; I couldn't resist belittling him in front of his girlfriend.

"At least one of us does."

Again, Carly elbowed me in the side. Freddie gave me a "Go to hell." look.

"_Anyway_, let's get our tickets. I hope it's not sold out already."

As planned, Carly paid for the movie. I bought the drinks and popcorn, though; and she wanted a pretzel, so I bought her one of those, too. The movie was actually pretty good. It turned out _way_ better than I thought it would. We went out to eat afterwards at Hooters, of all places, and ended up getting home around 11:30.

"So are we still going to Spencer's tonight?"

"I told him we would. You don't have to if you don't want to, though. You can just come tomorrow after you wake up."

"Are you going?"

"Yeah. I'm just gonna pack some clothes and head over there."

"I'll go, then. Who's car are we taking?"

"I'll drive."

"Cool."

I headed to the kitchen to unload the clothes from the dryer.

"You need anything out of here?"

She poked her head out from around the corner.

"Err…maybe? I don't know."

I grabbed an armful of clothes and brought it to her, plopping it down onto her bed.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

This was the first time I actually looked around her room. It was pink-themed with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Her bed had a fluffy, light pink comforter on it, dark pink pillows, and a medium pink bed skirt on the bottom of it. The walls remained white, because we weren't allowed to do anything to them, but she had various posters hanging around; mostly Cuttlefish posters from their different concerts she had attended. It smelled of a mix of her perfume, which drove me crazy, and some flowery plug-in air freshener that she had beside her bed. No stuffed animals in sight, though, so I thought I'd ask.

"Do you sleep with any stuffed animals, Carls?"

She looked at me with a confused smirk.

"Stuffed animals? Do I look like I'm five?"

I laughed.

"Well…"

She puffed up and threw a shirt at me.

"I'm kidding!"

That was a touchy subject with Carly. Everyone always told her she looked young for her age. I figured she would take it as a complement but no, of course not. It bothered her that everyone thought she was two or three years younger than she really was. I guessed when she got older, she would realize what a complement it really was. And when I really thought about it, I could see why it would upset her. She always got carded when she bought me cigarettes or if we went to the club, while I never did; I just walked right on through every time.

So, apparently she didn't sleep with stuffed animals. That made me wonder even more about what happened last night. I didn't want to just _ask_ her about it, in fear that I might make a fool out of myself, but I wanted to know _really_,_ really_ bad. All of these unanswered questions made my head spin. I looked over at her as I sat down on her bed. She was rustling through a drawer, looking for something, constantly having to push her hair behind her ear. It was cute. Every time I was around her, I found myself torn between being a best friend and being a girlfriend. I wanted to be her best friend, because that's what _she_ wanted, but then again…_I_ wanted to be _so_ much more than that. It was amazing to me that she hadn't picked up on it yet. I was aware that it was blatantly obvious at times. I was very protective of her, always watching out for her and trying to keep her out of trouble; and whenever we went somewhere, I always picked up the bill, because that's what I would do had we been dating. I tried to be there for her whenever she needed me, whether it be getting something for her or just sitting and listening to her talk. There was no way around it: I was head over heels in love with Carly Shay. That was that, and nothing could or would ever change that. Hell, the only reason I was still alive was because of her. My mother put me through so much shit when I was younger; what with her abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted boyfriends that she let into the house. There was a new one every week, it seemed like. Most of the time, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that, if things got too bad, I could show up on Carly's doorstep any time of the day or night and she'd greet me with a warm smile and a comforting hug.

_But what hurts the most, is being so close and having so much to say. And never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do._

"Sam."

I shook my head.

"What?"

"I need those pants under your ass."

I looked beside me, and then stood up.

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

She scooped up the pants into her bag, following me with curious eyes.

"About what?"

"Just stuff."

"Like _what_, though? 'Stuff' is too vague a word."

"It's nothing."

"Come on, Sam. You always sit and listen to me bitch and complain, but you never give me the chance to do the same for you."

I smiled at her.

"That's because I'd rather just spare you all the drama of a day in the life of Sam."

She grinned.

"Whatever's going on up there can't be _that_ complicated."

"Actually, it is. I don't understand half of it. It's so complicated that even _Freddie_ couldn't explain it."

"Ha ha. Try me."

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Come on, Sam."

I shook my head. She retaliated by slapping me hard across the arm.

"Tell me!"

I looked at her like she was insane.

"What the-"

She did it again.

"Carly, what the fuck?"

"I'm gonna keep doing it until you tell me."

"Jesus Chr-"

She hit me a third time. I grabbed her arm and spun her around, wrapping both my arms around her body, constricting almost any movement she could make.

"Not fair, you're stronger than me."

"I know."

I chuckled.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope."

I released my grip on her and she slipped away, turned a 180, and pinned me down on the bed by my arms. I pretended to resist and try to get away, but it was all show. I looked up at her, sighed, and then looked past her to the white plaster ceiling above us, my playful gaze transforming into a solemn stare.

"Do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?"

"Losing something you love more than anything?"

"Close. I'd say that's probably the second worst. It's being _so_ close to the person you're in love with, and realizing that you can never have them, and there's nothing you can do about it."

She took a second to think about it; or think about _someone_, it seemed.

"That's deep."

"Yeah… Now you know what goes through my head every day."

"You mean 'close' as in…a best friend?"

**Yeah, hope you liked it. Next chapter will be better, trust me. Thanks for all the reviews you guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oi, here's chapter 4. It's a pretty good one, if I do say so myself. I hope you guys enjoy it! We're getting closer and closer to the big finish! Haa**

**Songs used: ****Rascal Flatts – What Hurts the Most**** and ****Incubus – Love Hurts**

I gazed up into her deep, dark, brown eyes, taking in the fact that she finally understood everything I felt. She let go of my arms and stood up straight, allowing me to sit up on the bed.

"Close like…being right next to someone. The feeling of being _right there_ next to them and knowing they'll never think of you the same way you think of them."

"Oh."

She sounded almost disappointed.

"Well, like you told me. There's no need to feel lonely, you'll always have me. Even if neither of us find someone that we can marry, have a family with, and grow old with…we'll always have each other."

I sat on the bed looking up at her, my eyes tracing her lips with every word she spoke. I couldn't tell whether she was being sincere or not, or if it was just something to say to console me and get me to shut up. On the other hand, _she_ was the one that dragged it out of me in the first place, so maybe she really meant what she said. It made me happy to know that, for a split second, she was standing in the middle of my dream world, seeing everything, understanding everything. Finally we were on the same page; after years of hide and seek, she finally caught me.

"I guess."

She leaned in and gave me a hug. I sat there morosely.

"You better finish packing. It's almost midnight. Spencer's going to be asleep before we even get there."

"You haven't even started yet."

She threw a balled up pair of socks at me. I stood up and chunked them back at her, slowly meandering towards her open door, leaving the complacency of her room in my dusk.

"Cheer up, sourpuss."

I stopped and turned around to face her. Making a split second decision, I walked over to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Thanks, Cupcake."

I whispered in her ear and pulled away, kissing her gently on the cheek as I went. Carly's hand shot up to the spot where my lips had briefly been.

"No…problem."

I was out the door before she finished her reply.

The car ride was, to say the least, quiet and awkward. I sat in the passenger seat regrettably, wishing I hadn't cracked and let my thoughts out. Part of me hated myself for hinting at the fact that I was in love with her, but another part was telling me it was for the best. I wasn't sure whether or not I made the right move by bending the truth and warding her away from what I really meant. For the past 5 years I'd dreamt of nothing _but_ telling her. And judging by her reaction, I should have come right out and confessed my love for her. She sounded so disappointed when I contradicted her question, too. I hated sitting in awkward silence, especially with her. She was my best friend, and I was hers, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Carly?"

"Yeah?"

She didn't take her eyes off the road.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For…whatever I did to make you upset."

"Who said I was upset?"

"Well, you haven't said a word to me since we left."

"I've just been-"

"And the way you said my name earlier…it didn't sound the way it usually does when you say it."

She squinted her eyes and then looked down at the radio. I knew that face; that was her thinking face.

"I didn't hurt you with something I said, did I?"

She shook her head, still refusing to look at me. I turned my head around towards the window, busying myself with watching the trees pass by at seventy-five miles an hour along the side of the interstate. After a minute or so of stillness, she broke the silence with her delicate voice.

"You pay attention to the way I say your name?"

I whipped my head around, startled by the sound of her voice and the words that escaped her lips.

"What?"

"Sam…do I say it differently than everyone else?"

"I don't…uh, I guess. I don't know."

"You just said that I said it a different way than I usually do…what does that mean?"

"I don't know, you just sounded upset with me…like I hurt you in some way. You know that's the last thing I want."

She just sat there.

"The fucking world could be falling to pieces around us and I wouldn't care, as long as you're happy."

She was thinking again.

"Carly, you're my best friend…I don't want you mad at me for anything."

"I'm not mad or upset with you. I promise. I'm just stressed out about something."

I sat back in my seat, laying my head on the head rest behind me.

"Talk to me, then."

She sighed.

"I talked to Jake the other day for the first time in forever."

As soon as she said his name, my heart dropped.

"We had lunch yesterday, too. Talked about a lot of stuff, caught up and whatnot."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah…it was good to see him again."

I sat silently staring out the window again. That's _exactly_ what I needed: for _Jake_ to go and fuck with Carly's heart again. Even though we were only friends in her eyes, I was pretty sure I had 100% of her heart; but not anymore. Given the fact that she was head over heels in love with Jake back in high school and that it took her _forever_ to get over their break up, I knew that if they dated again, I would lose her completely. That small, one-in-a-billion chance that I had to be with her would be stepped on, run over, and completely destroyed by Jake Crandall.

"He said he wanted to hang out with us sometime."

"That's cool."

She nodded slowly, catching the drift that I was a little ticked. I absolutely _hated_ Jake, for the same reason I hated Freddie and that Shane guy that she liked way back when. Though, I admit, I thought I liked Shane, too, but really, I just wanted him away from Carly.

"Are we almost there?"

"Yeah, we'll be there in about 5 minutes."

"Good, I'm tired."

"Hey, Carly! Sam!"

"Hey."

We spoke in unison, quite unenthusiastically.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"We're just tired. Ready for bed."

"Well, Merry Christmas, then! I'll see you two in the morning for Christmas breakfast. I'm making your favorite spaghetti tacos, Sam."

"For breakfast?"

Carly acted as if something like that was out of the ordinary for Spencer.

"Of course for breakfast. Every time is a good time for spaghetti tacos."

She rolled her eyes at me and headed for the stairs. I grabbed the strap of her bag that was hanging on her shoulder.

"Let me get that."

She allowed me to slide it off her shoulder and throw it around mine.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. See you in the morning, Spencer. We'll have breakfast and catch up."

"Sounds like a plan. Goodnight, girls."

"Night, Spencer."

"Night."

We both climbed the stairs and filed into Carly's room. I dropped our bags on the floor and flopped down on one of her bean bag chairs.

"Feels good to be back here again."

"Yeah, I miss it."

"Remember that one time we were doing iCarly…"

I got up and walked toward the window.

"…and we threw water balloons at people down there?"

"Yeah, and the random dancing. That was my favorite."

"Yeah…man, we used to have so much fun up here."

"I love how we get all nostalgic when we come here."

"Yep, every time."

I threw myself on her bed, propping my head up on my arms.

"We should do an iCarly reunion show or something."

She sat down next to me, grabbed the TV remote, and turned on the TV. An old rerun of _Girly Cow_ was playing.

"That's a good idea. We should."

"Call Dorkwad tomorrow and tell him about it."

She giggled.

"Okay."

"We can do it on New Years or something."

"Yeah."

I sighed. We sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna go to bed. I'm about to pass out."

"Me too."

"Where am I sleeping?"

She shrugged, a lingering smile still present on her face.

"Doesn't matter."

I looked around.

"You can have the bed if you want."

"Where are you gonna sleep, then?"

She shrugged once again.

"Here, I guess. If you don't mind."

She stood up and pulled back the covers on her bed, hinting at me to get off. I got up and pulled back the other side. It had only been last night that we slept in the same bed, but it seemed like this was the very first time it had happened since we were younger. My heart was racing; I was so nervous, like I was about to take a test that would determine if I lived or died at this very moment.

"Why would I mind? It's _your_ bed."

"I know, but you're company."

I laughed.

"Since when am _I_ company? I practically _lived_ here when we were younger."

Oddly enough, it kind of hurt that she considered me "company". For the longest time, we always told everyone I lived with her, only because I was over here so often. I very rarely went home unless it was to grab more clothes or something like that. I never wanted to deal with my mom's bullshit, so I stayed away as much as possible. But now I was just "company". Carly failed to return my laugh; she made her way over to her bag and pulled out some pajama pants and a tank top.

"Sorry, I just meant that you should have the bed to yourself if you wanted it."

"I don't mind, Carls. You can sleep here too, if you want. Or if you want it to yourself, I'll sleep on the couch."

I laid back down on the bed and followed her with my eyes. Now she giggled.

"Guess we're sharing a bed again tonight, then."

She looked back at me and smiled before pulling her dress up and over her head, leaving her almost naked body exposed to me. I looked away instantly, not wanting to violate her privacy, but I just couldn't help myself. I _had_ to look; she was practically _asking_ me to. Carly might as well have been standing right in front of me, stripping. She was amazingly slim and toned. She had somewhat of a six pack with a pierced belly button. Her skin was tan now, as compared to her previous milky white complexion, but not overly so; it was a nice, even tan. I was even more excited to see what she had on under that little black dress of hers, though. A sexy set of, what appeared to be Victoria Secret, dark purple lace underwear and bra. Oh, and she wore it perfectly, too. It hugged her body so tightly and fit so flawlessly. Like I said, she should have been a model. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to look away at the TV. Then, it happened: something that was simultaneously the _best_ and _worst_ thing in the world.

"Sam."

"What?"

I answered hurriedly, keeping my eyes glued to the TV.

"Come here for a second."

She was fucking teasing me. It wasn't funny, not one bit.

"Why? I'm busy."

"Doing what? Just come here. I need help with something."

I gathered my-Sam-puddle-self up off the bed and sauntered over to her, concentrating on my feet as I walked.

"Undo the clasp on my necklace. I can't get it."

My heart sank down to my feet. I grabbed the clasp between my fingers and tried to open it. My hands were shaking so bad, my fingers just didn't want to work with me right now. That's when I looked over her shoulder accidently. And it was definitely an accident, one that was just waiting to happen. She was standing in front of a full-length mirror. I saw the entirety of her body, every inch that was left uncovered that I wished so bad was mine; her silky smooth skin that I wanted to touch more than anything. It was then that I made eye contact with her. I thought I was going to drop dead. I quickly switched my attention back to the necklace, undoing the clasp in less than a second and handing the necklace to her.

"Thanks."

She smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled awkwardly back.

"No problem…"

I shuffled hurriedly back to the bed and fell onto it on my stomach, burying my face in her covers. She stayed by the mirror for another minute or so then came over and sat down on the bed next to me.

"So are you going to tell me who you're in love with?"

I uncovered my face, looking up at her questioningly.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just curious."

"Well, you don't know them."

"Oh. Someone from work?"

"Somethin' like that."

Only if iCarly could be considered an old job of mine. I rolled off the bed and went over to my bag, grabbing my pajama pants and a t-shirt out of it.

"Be right back."

"Okay. Hurry, I'm tired."

"Sure thing, Cupcake."

I strolled into the bathroom and changed clothes quickly, not even taking the time to stop and think about what had just happened. Throwing my other clothes on top of my bag, I walked over to the bed. Carly was already curled up under the covers waiting for me.

"Was that fast enough?"

"Yep!"

I snickered.

"Good."

I climbed in bed beside her, lying on my back.

"Goodnight, Carls."

"Night, Sam. See you in the morning."

"Can't wait to eat."

"Ha ha, you're always ready for food."

"I'm starving right now, but I'm making myself wait until morning."

"I see. Ha Goodnight."

"Night."

Spaghetti tacos weren't the only food on my mind tonight, though. Carly either didn't seem to notice or didn't care that I was being uncomfortable around her while she was changing. I knew she wasn't stupid, so she _had_ to have noticed. I guessed she just didn't care for some odd reason. She had been acting pretty weird the past couple days, though. Maybe _I_ was the stupid one. Maybe _I_ was the one that didn't notice that something was going on. What _was_ going on, anyway? Any thought closely related to "Maybe she likes me too." was quickly dispersed from my mind. This wasn't a fucking fairytale, it was real life. Good things like that don't happen in real life; not to me, anyway. You'd have to be something _real_ special to have all of your hopes and dreams come true like that. There had to be something else, and I wanted to know what it was.

As I followed Carly down the last section of stairs, I took a deep breath, inhaling every bit of the deliciousness of spaghetti and meatballs and taco shells. The smell was good enough to give me an orgasm in my mouth. Oh how I loved food.

"Good morning, sleepy heads."

"Morning, Spence. How're those tacos coming?"

"Good, almost ready."

"Spencer, did you make any coffee?"

"Oh, yes. It's ready."

He opened the shelf above him, pulled down two coffee cups, and sat them on the counter near us. Carly grabbed both of them and ambled over to the coffee pot. I took a seat at the bar across from where Spencer was laying out plates and utensils. She returned with two cupfuls of coffee, sitting one in front of me and then taking the seat next to me.

"Just how I like it?"

"Lots of creamer and sugar."

"Sweet. Thanks."

"Welcome."

"So, Spencer, how've things been?"

"Oh, pretty good. I've done quite a few sculptures this year. One was even put up in a local art show. I'm starting to get more widely known for my stuff."

"Nice. Which sculpture?"

"It was one with approximately five hundred little tins of Carmex held together with Gorilla glue then sprayed sporadically with indigo spray paint. I call it… 'Indigo Carmex'."

"Interesting."

"Very. So what's been up with you two?"

"Nothing much."

Carly took a sip of her coffee.

"Just working, mainly."

"Sounds exciting."

"Oh yes. Because working at The Groovy Smoothie and serving people blended fruit with ice cream is exciting."

"Try walking through the woods carrying all kinds of equipment and having an angry land owner shoot at you and tell you to get the hell off his land."

"That actually happened?"

"Yeah, once. It scared me to death."

"Food's ready."

"Awesome. I'll take three."

"Fatty."

"I've been hungry since last night, it's not my fault."

"Merry Christmas, by the way!"

Spencer pulled out two wrapped presents and sat them in front of us.

"Aw, you shouldn't have."

"Thanks, Spence."

I picked mine up and shook it; the box was slightly cold and kind of heavy. I tore it open to reveal a box that had "Logan Farms" imprinted in gold lettering on top. I knew instantly what it was: Ham.

"Spencer! Ham!"

He laughed.

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome, Sam."

"What'd you get, Carls?"

She shrugged, tearing off the wrapping paper piece by piece. Her box was smaller than mine and rectangular in shape.

"A…Barbie?"

"Yeah! You like it? It's a 1959 original! It cost me like $200!"

"Oh…yeah. It's great…I love it."

He sat there for a minute with a big, goofy smile on his face. I arched an eyebrow and glanced over at Carly. She was busying herself with reading the back of the Barbie box.

"A Barbie?"

"Yeah."

She waved it around in my face. Spencer burst out in laughter.

"I'm just kiddin', little sister. I got that at the dollar store. Here."

He pulled out yet another wrapped present and sat it down in front of her. She eyed it questioningly, denoting to herself that it probably was nothing close to what she thought it was going to be. She tore the paper off and gasped in disbelief.

"You got me the Cuttlefish live concert DVD!"

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that. Best thing about it, you and Sam are in it!"

"Oh my gosh, awesome. Thanks, Spencer!"

"You're welcome."

I looked down at my ham then over at her DVD and shrugged.

"Merry Christmas, guys."

"Merry Christmas!"

We sounded in unison again. The two of us seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"Your presents are out in the car."

"I'll go get them."

I hopped off the bar stool and darted for the staircase to get the keys from Carly's room. Spencer caught me by the back of my shirt.

"Easy, Killer. Food's ready. Eat first, 'cause I know you want to."

I smirked and grabbed a plate.

"_God_, I love spaghetti tacos!"

**Hope you enjoyed it! There's more where that came from!!**

**Also, I'd like to ask you guys, if you pray, pray for my family and I. Sunday morning, I lost my grandfather and I've pretty much been a big wreck ever since…if you don't pray, at least keep us in your thoughts. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I'll try and get a move on with chapter 5 whenever I have time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter 5. Sorry it took so long, guys. The past few weeks have been rough for me, haven't really felt like writing much. :/ Hope you guys enjoy it, though. Keep leaving me wonderful reviews. :D Thanks to all of you that already have!**

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

She handed me a small box covered in white wrapping paper with Christmas bells printed on it.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but I wanted to."

I smiled at her and carefully pulled the wrapping paper off of the box. Underneath was a black pearPod box.

"You got me a pearPod?! Carly!"

She grinned ear to ear.

"Haven't you been wanting one? I know you can use it at work while you're sitting in the truck bored."

"Yeah, thanks!"

I sat the box down on her bed and pulled her into a tight hug. I just couldn't seem to ignore her perfume; it got me _every time_.

"It's not as nice as your present, but I thought you'd like it."

I pulled away.

"It's better, actually. Can't listen to music and watch videos on a watch."

"Ha ha. Yeah, but…I still love the watch."

She smiled. I sighed and returned her smile.

"I'm glad."

I picked up the pearPod box and looked at it, turning it on all sides.

"Do you think Spencer really liked his present?"

"Yeah. He needed a new microwave, anyway."

"Remember when we gave his red one to Mr. Franklin?"

"Yes! That was hilarious. It totally wasn't his birthday."

"And then he went and found the one he has now in the junk yard."

"Yeah, it's time for a new one."

I heard footsteps coming from the stairs; Spencer burst into the doorway as if something was on fire.

"Guys!"

"Yeah?"

"It's getting late. I don't want you guys to be out driving too late."

I smirked.

"Lacey's coming over, isn't she?"

He let out a triumphed and threw his arms down to his sides.

"Yes, but I really don't want you guys to be out on the road after dark. You know, worried brother thing and all."

"We understand, Spence. Thanks for letting us stay, though."

"Yeah, thanks."

"No problem, girls. You know I enjoy your company. And thanks again for the new microwave!"

"You're welcome."

We sounded in unison. He stepped in Carly's room and spread his arms.

"C'mere. Group hug."

Carly and I stepped into his arms and hugged him.

"Alright, we'll be down in a minute, gotta pack all our shit up."

"Okay. I'm gonna go get ready. Glad you guys came!"

He bolted out the door and down the stairs. I sighed.

"Long drive back home."

"It's not that long. Like 30 minutes."

"Seems like forever."

I chuckled, picking up my pajamas off the floor. Underneath was a small, black notebook with Carly's name written on the front in her handwriting with White Out. I picked it up and opened it.

"What's this?"

_There's a mountain between us_

_But there's one thing I'm sure of_

_That I know how I feel about you_

It looked like a poem or something that she started to write. Those three lines were all I was able to read before Carly snatched it away from me.

"That's mine."

"Obviously. It's got your name on it, but-"

"Then why were you reading it?"

"I don't-I don't know. Sorry. I didn't know it was _that_ personal or anything."

"Just…don't touch it anymore, okay?"

I knew my face made her think I was more disgusted than I really was, but I couldn't help it. I figured it was her diary or something, but what secrets could she write in there that she hadn't already told me? Maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. I guessed there were things she couldn't even tell her best friend of eleven years.

"Okay, sorry."

I shoved my clothes into my bag, zipped it up, and threw the strap over my shoulder. I headed for the door but was stopped by Carly's voice.

"Sam."

I looked over my shoulder.

"You forgot your pearPod."

"Oh."

She picked it up and handed it to me.

"Thanks."

She half-smiled and nodded. I hurried out the door and downstairs.

The whole 30 minute drive home, all I could think about were those three lines from her diary.

_There's a mountain between us_

_But there's one thing I'm sure of_

_That I know how I feel about you_

Who could she have been writing that about? Who was the "you" she was talking about? We were pulling up in the parking lot of our apartment complex when it hit me. I remembered what she said on the way to Spencer's Wednesday night.

"_I talked to Jake the other day for the first time in forever."_

"_We had lunch yesterday, too. Talked about a lot of stuff, caught up and whatnot."_

She was writing a poem about Jake, and by the looks of it, she was probably going to give it to him. He was going to read it and sweep her off her feet and confess his undying love for her and tell her that they should be together forever and live happily ever after and all that bullshit. Then, she would go off somewhere with him and I'd probably never see her again.

"God damn it."

She looked over at me, eyebrow cocked.

"What?"

I hadn't realized I spoke loud enough for her to hear me. I didn't know what to say so I just made something up.

"Uh, I forgot I was supposed to go see my mom today."

"It's only eight o'clock. We can go over there if you want."

"No, it's cool. I'll go tomorrow."

"Okay."

"I have to go over there tomorrow, anyway. She's buying us a couple cases of beer for the new year's party tomorrow night."

"Oh yeah. I forgot all about that."

"There probably won't even be that many people there. Tell Dorkwad to come and bring his girlfriend, and you can invite Ja-"

I choked on just the thought of him and Carly being drunk in the same room. I cursed myself for even thinking about what might happen.

"Who?"

"Jake. You can invite him, too, if you want."

"Oh, yeah. I'll call him."

"I doubt any of the other people will show up. Maybe some of the guys from work, but I don't know for sure."

She nodded understandably and pulled in to her parking spot next to my car.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed. I'm kind of tired, and I want to be able to stay up all night tomorrow night."

"Oh, okay. Wanna eat something before real quick?"

I looked over at her, she looked as if she was about to get down on her knees and beg me to spend more time with her.

"Sure. I'm a little hungry, I guess."

"Okay. I was thinking about making that Stouffer's meatloaf thing we bought the other day. And we've still got some instant mashed potatoes left, I think."

"Sounds good to me."

I really wasn't hungry. In fact, if I tried to eat right now, I would probably throw up. I was a mix of upset, worried, anxious, and completely pissed off and nothing that she said or did right now could change that. Unless of course she were to turn to me and say-

"I love you, Sam."

She turned off the car and opened her door. I sat there for a few seconds staring at the blank display of the CD changer.

"What?"

"Sorry I snapped at you earlier. That book is just kind of private and all…"

"It's cool. I understand."

I yawned.

"It cool if I leave my bag in here? I don't feel like getting it out right now."

"Yeah. I was gonna leave mine, too."

She chuckled. I smiled at her.

"C'mon. I'm hungry."

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay…_

_But that's not what gets me._

Dinner was great. Carly surprised me with a bottle of champagne she got from Spencer. It was cheap $7 champagne, but it was my favorite: Ballatore Gran Spumante. We stayed up until midnight drinking and talking about random things. I was nervous at first about drinking around her. I didn't want my feelings to come out or anything and end up ruining a good time but, to my amazement, I contained myself.

It all started back when we were 15, before we ever started iCarly. I had just transferred to Ridgeway so I really didn't know anyone except Carly. She was the first person to even talk to me, only because we knew each other already, but everyone else acted like they were afraid of me; especially Freddie, who followed her over to me like a lost puppy dog and then cowered behind her when I glanced at him. I had never dated anyone before, never even really considered it. There were a couple guys at my other school that I thought were cute, but I didn't think they were dateable. I spent most of my time looking at the popular girls; I always thought they were _so_ pretty. I never thought much of it, and _never_, _ever_ in my wildest dreams thought it was because I actually _liked _girls. Carly wasn't overly popular at Ridgeway, and she certainly wasn't one of those Barbie doll types that had the perfectly tanned skin and bleach blonde hair; she was beautiful in her own way. When I first caught myself staring at her, I didn't realize I was infatuated with her on _that_ level, I just couldn't understand why I found it so hard to keep my eyes off of her. It got even worse when I realized that Freddie was head over heels in love with her. Honestly, if it wasn't for that, Freddie and I probably could have been friends, but I hated him because he liked Carly so much. I hated _every_ guy that expressed interest in her, even Nevel; although I knew she would have never even given him the time of day, much less date him. I thought of it as some kind of "big sister" thing; that was my excuse for being so protective over Carly. Even thought she had Spencer as her big brother, I still took it on as my role.

It was during our first fight that I realized how I really felt about her. It was a stupid fight, really, about nothing important, in my opinion; shouldn't have even happened. It was all my fault for lying in the first place. One day I didn't show up at school, didn't tell anyone I wasn't coming or anything. Carly blew up my phone all day long with text messages and calls; she left around ten voicemails trying to figure out what was wrong and where I was. I didn't reply to her texts or answer any of her phone calls and I never called her back because I didn't want her to know what happened. I showed up at her house that night with cuts, bruises, and a black eye. I told her I had gotten in a fight with a guy that lived in my apartment building because he had tried to sell me drugs and I wouldn't buy them. I told her he beat me up, but that I didn't let him off without a broken nose and missing a few teeth. She bought it, butt I had to deal with her asking questions about it for the next couple days. Then when she mentioned finding the guy and calling the cops, I broke down and told her the truth: That my mom's boyfriend was drunk and I just happened to be the nearest punching bag that he took his anger out on. I would have thought she'd be more worried than anything, but no. She blew up at me and told me she hated me for lying to her and making up stupid stories about people that didn't even exist. I left and took a walk around the block to smoke a cigarette I had stolen from my mom, and when I got back, she hugged me and said she was sorry and that I was staying with her for the next week, "no ifs ands or buts about it".

_That_ was when I realized how much she meant to me, that she was more than just a friend in my eyes. I felt so bad for lying to her when I should have just told her the truth to begin with. The idea of her being mad at me tore me apart, even if it _was_ for only about thirty minutes. She was happier when I was truthful with her, and her happiness meant the world to me. When she was sad, I was sad; and when she was upset, I was upset. Seeing that smile on her face could brighten up even the gloomiest of days for me. I'm not sure what exactly clicked in my head during all of this, but whatever it was gave me something to live for. My purpose in life, pretty much, was to make Carly happy without letting on that I was in love with her. It's hard to describe how it felt when I realized it, though. I guess the best way to explain it would be…

Imagine yourself standing on the side of a four lane highway. You look to both sides of you and see nothing, you hear no cars or trucks coming from either direction. You start to walk to the other side and when you're about halfway across the first lane, BAM! A _HUGE_ 18-wheeler diesel truck comes out of nowhere and pile drives you straight into the ground. You didn't hear or see it coming, it just appeared out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks. Or…like an 18-wheeler.

That was basically what it was like.

Scott, Josh, and Matt showed up from work, then there was Freddie and his girlfriend along with _Jake_ and a friend of his from college, Mark.

"I'm not drunk."

"You've only had six beers and a shot of Patron, I _hope_ you're not drunk yet."

"Sam's a lightweight, she can't hold her liquor. Haha."

I looked over at Scott who was leaning against the wall holding a beer.

"No, I'm not."

He laughed and took a drink.

"Let's play a drinking game."

"King's Corner?"

"Nah, let's play truth or dare."

"That's not a drinking game, Fredward."

"_Sam_."

He gave me the evil eye.

"I found this game online. I wrote all the truths and dares on note cards and mixed them up. On the back of the dares I wrote numbers, depending on how intense the dare is. Every time you get a dare, you have to drink however many times it says on the back, and if you don't _do_ the dare, you have to drink double."

"Alright, everyone in a circle."

I scooted my chair up closer to the coffee table in front of the couch. Josh squatted down beside me and set a shot of Black Velvet whiskey down in front of me.

"Cheers."

He held another full shot glass up; I picked mine up and clinked it with his, then threw my head back and downed the shot. It didn't taste quite like I expected, burned my throat a bit.

"Damn. Thanks."

I laughed, sitting the empty shot glass back down on the table.

"Your girl's pretty hot."

"Ha. I know! She's not my girl, though."

"Well, get on that."

"I can-"

Almost as if she knew we were talking about her, Carly scooted to the end of the couch next to me. I looked over at her and could tell she was drunk already; her cheeks always turned red when she drank. I thought it was cute.

"What's up, Carls?"

"Chillin', Sammy."

She giggled; I couldn't help but laugh. She always got giggly when she was drunk; it was great, but she didn't drink that often.

"Ha ha, I'm good!"

"Everyone ready?"

"Yeah."

All of us sat down around the coffee table. Carly was to my left, Jake sat to her left, then Mark, Freddie, Heather, Matt, Scott, and finally Josh on my right.

"You go first, Jake. Draw a card and read it to the person across from you."

"Alright."

He picked up a card and looked at it then across the table.

"Who's across from me?"

I looked over.

"Matt or Scott."

"Uhh…Scott, truth. What's the weirdest- man, this is great. What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?"

He thought about it for a minute then burst out laughing.

"In a port-a-potty at Mardi Gras. I was drunk as fuck."

Everyone laughed.

"That's fucked up, Scotty."

He shrugged and kept on laughing, pausing to take a drink of his beer.

"Your turn, Mark."

He picked up a card and looked across the table at Josh and Scott.

"Since you just went… Josh, truth. Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?"

He laughed.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

We all laughed again.

"Fredward! Grab a card!"

He glared at me before picking a card. After reading it, he looked up at me with the evilest look I've ever seen on his face.

"Samantha Puckett."

He paused. I got nervous.

"_Dare._"

"Oh, great."

"Kiss the person to your left."

"_WHAT?_"

I looked over at Carly nervously and smiled. This was absolutely perfect, in a good _and_ bad way.

"I don't have cooties, I promise."

Did that mean she was up for it? It seemed like everything in the world was backwards at that moment. Freddie was drinking, Jake was in my house, I felt almost completely sober now, and Carly wanted to kiss me. Maybe I was _a lot_ more fucked up than I thought I was.

"And make it believable, unless you want to drink twice as much."

"What number is on there?"

"Eight."

"Fuck."

I pretended to hate it as much as I could. Looking over at Josh, I saw that wide grin on his face. He knew what I was thinking. I sighed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carly get up, beer in hand, and move towards me. She hopped on my lap, straddling my legs, and put her arms around my neck. My heart was racing. This was _definitely_ believable on her part; now it was my turn to contribute. I smirked.

"Alright, Cupcake, let's give 'em a show!"

**Hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for being patient while I got this chapter written up. And thanks SO MUCH for all of your thoughts and prayers! It's still hard, even though it's been almost 2 weeks now…but I'm coping okay. Keep reading and reviewing! Expect chapter 6 soon! Love you guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 is here! Thanks again for all you guys' thoughts and prayers! I know all of you just **_**loved**_** the ending of chapter 5. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good cliff hanger. ;D**

I've never had the fine opportunity of kissing a lot of people, but I have kissed my fair share. I had to say, though, that kissing Carly Shay was _THE_ best experience I've ever had. And even though it was something I'd been looking forward to for years, it actually made me feel worse than I did before. The agony of knowing it was nothing more than a drunk kiss to her made me even more depressed about the situation than I already was. I decided I shouldn't linger on it or read too much into it anymore. Carly liked guys, not girls, that was that. One of my wildest dreams had been fulfilled, but I really just felt like giving up on everything Carly related for a while. Our kiss took it too far, in my opinion; it was too much for me to handle. I figured sitting on the sidelines and watching her be happy was better, and easier, than putting myself though all this useless torture.

_But it's time to face the truth. I will never be with you._

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey."

"About last night…"

I definitely didn't want to talk about last night at all.

"I hope Jake _and_ Freddie being there didn't bother you too much…"

"Oh…"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe I would get lucky and she wouldn't even remember what happened between us last night. If that were the case, everything could go back to normal for me. That would be excellent.

"No, it's cool. I told you to invite them, anyway."

"Okay, I was just making sure."

"Yeah."

I busied myself with flipping through the channels, stopping on USA to watch Law and Order.

"What are your plans for today?"

I kept my eyes locked on the TV; feet propped up on the coffee table in front of me, and shrugged.

"Nothin' really. You?"

"Well, Jake leaves to go back to college tomorrow, so we were going to have lunch again before he has to leave. I was hoping you'd come with us. Mark will be there, too."

I didn't even take a second to think about it.

"I don't think so. I feel like just sitting around the house all day."

She sat down on the couch next to me.

"Tell Jake I said goodbye, though."

"Come on, it's Saturday. We can't _not_ do anything."

"_We_ aren't. _You've_ got stuff to do, _I'm_ the one that's going to sit here and do nothing all day."

"What's wrong with you, Sam? You're usually the one that wants to go out and do stuff on the weekends."

"I don't know. I just don't feel like leaving the apartment. I've got a bad hangover and I don't feel good."

She sat there and watched me for a few seconds, seeing if my mood would change or something.

"Okay…"

She leaned back against the couch and laid her head on my shoulder.

"You'd tell me if something was really wrong, wouldn't you?"

I looked over and down at her. She met my eyes with her own.

"Yeah."

I bobbed my head up and down reassuringly and smiled.

"I got up early this morning and cleaned this place up. Looks nice, doesn't it?"

I looked around; not really noticing until now that it was actually clean.

"Yeah, it does."

She stood up and started towards the kitchen.

"I haven't gotten to the kitc-"

"Carly."

She halted at the sound of my voice, turning around to see what I wanted.

"Look, I-"

She looked concerned.

"There _is_ something bothering me…"

"What is it?"

I wanted to just come out and tell her that I loved her and that our kiss last night was driving me absolutely crazy. Even though I had convinced myself thousands of times that it would just tear our friendship apart, I still felt like she needed to know. I'm not sure why I was so stubborn; why, no matter what happened, I always had a little shred of hope that she'd feel the same way. I just couldn't grow the balls to do it, though, so I changed subjects on myself.

"That poem or whatever that you're writing…"

"Yeah…?"

"Can I read it?"

She frowned.

"Not yet. It's not done…"

"Oh…okay."

"I'll let you know when I finish it, though, and you can read it, okay?"

She smiled at me.

"Alright."

She continued into the kitchen and I heard dishes clattering around. After a minute or two, the clattering stopped and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her poke her head out of the doorway. She checked her watch then raised her voice over the TV to get my attention.

"We're going to eat at one o'clock. You've got thirty minutes to get ready."

She smirked and winked at me. I sighed, turning off the TV. I was going to go, but not without annoying the shit out of her first.

"I don't wanna go."

"Look."

She stepped back into the living room.

"I know you don't have a hangover. I've been around you long enough to know that Sam Puckett doesn't get hangovers. You don't want to go because you hate Jake, I know. I'm still not sure _why_ you hate him, but I know that you do."

It was true; I hadn't had a hangover since I first started drinking about 3 years ago. Who knew she cared enough to keep tabs on that. I opened my mouth, about to say something, but she cut me off.

"_So_, you're going to suck it up and go with me, because I said so. I'm not going to let you sit around here and mope all day because I'm out having lunch with Jake."

I'd never seen Carly be so forceful before; never seen her have even a little bit of an attitude like that, at least not towards _me_. I honestly didn't know what to say. She had obviously picked up on the fact that I didn't like her being around Jake; if she only knew my reasoning behind it. I was finding it increasingly hard to hold true to the decision that I made earlier to just leave everything having to do with Carly alone.

"I'm not going."

I spoke sternly, letting her know that I wasn't backing down from the fight.

"I'd rather spend the day with Freddie."

She couldn't help but smirk, knowing that Freddie and I in the same room was torture in itself to me.

"Samantha Reneé Puckett. You're going with me, like it or not."

Carly only said my middle name when she was _really, really_ mad. I knew I was about to get it.

"Why? Why do you want me to go so bad? I don't want to see Jake again. One night was enough."

"Because I just want you to. Why do you hate him so much?"

"I just fucking do. Because he likes you, and…"

I stopped myself.

"And what?"

"And…and I just don't like him. He's a stupid pretty boy and you only like him because he looks good. He's got nothing to offer other than that. He only did good in school because he cheated and copied everyone else's work; he's not smart at all. He's not charming, he can't sing…and I don't know what you see in him. I don't think he's even a little cute. All he's got going for him is the fact that he can play guitar well."

She just stood there staring at me, arms crossed.

"So you hate him because…you think we still like each other?"

"Well, yeah…but-"

"Sam, Jake's a friend of mine, that's it. And, trust me; he's not interested in me that way."

"How do you know he's not?"

"Because he's gay, Sam!"

My mouth dropped open and I sat there speechless.

"Mark is his boyfriend. I wasn't going to tell you because he didn't want me to. He hasn't told many people, and he doesn't really want anyone to know."

"Are you kidding me? Jake Crandall?"

"Yes, Jake Crandall. The Jake that I dated in middle school; the Jake that came over last night and partied with us."

"So you have some kind of big secret crush on a gay guy now? That's great, Carls."

"No, I don't, Sam; and why would it matter if I did, anyway?"

I slammed my hand on the coffee table and shot up off the couch.

"Because I…"

"Because what, Sam? Because _you_ hate him? Because _you_ don't think that he's cute? Because it's okay for _you_ to have some secret crush on a guy at your work but it's not okay for _me_ to like someone that I've been friends with for years? Is it not okay for me to have any friends besides _you_?"

"No."

I stumbled past her into the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer from the fridge. She followed me.

"No, it's 12:15 in the afternoon, you don't need to be drinking."

She tried to take the beer from me but I resisted, pulling it away from her.

"Fuck that. I can drink whenever I want. I'll be 21 in a couple months, anyway."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?"

"Why do you care?"

I twisted the cap off my beer and took a big gulp of it.

"You were fine earlier. Are you seriously _this _upset because I want to go have lunch with Jake?"

I stopped to think about it. Why _was_ I still mad? If Jake was gay, that meant that he didn't even like girls anymore. Or did she just tell me that to make me shut up? I didn't know if it was really true or not. What if he was just trying out this gay thing and he was really bi or something. That would mean that there's a chance he still liked Carly. I wished I didn't have such a hard time trusting people. I didn't know what else to do, so I sat my beer down on the counter and pulled Carly into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry."

She pulled away from me and looked at her watch.

"I've got to finish getting ready. Are you coming or not?"

I looked down at my feet morosely.

"Do you still want me to?"

I felt really bad for blowing up at her. I had never in my life spoken to Carly like that. I wanted to hit myself for yelling at her and pissing her off. I had done the complete opposite of what I told myself I would do: guarantee her happiness, regardless of the cost.

"I guess. But not if you're going to be acting like that."

"Carly, I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so upset."

"Yes you do. You just won't tell me."

"No, I…"

"You what?"

I sighed heavily.

"I just…I don't…I don't know. I don't like the fact that there's a possibility that you like someone."

"Why? I know you play the 'older sister' card, but you're not _that_ much older than me, and I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to decide for myself who I like and who I don't."

I didn't say anything. She scoffed at me and started toward her room.

"If you're not ready in 15 minutes, I'm going without you."

I stayed at home and drank myself into a stupor, all the while listening to depressing music and messing around on the internet. Carly had been gone for a few hours, probably palling around with Jake and Mark at the mall or something. She was still mad at me, I was sure, and it was eating me up inside. I couldn't stand not talking to her for this long. I pulled out my cell phone and started texting her.

'Carly im sry'

No reply.

'I dphdnt meam to mgke you mad at me'

Still nothing. I knew I wasn't typing correctly, but I was hoping she got the just of what I was saying.

'I love you carly amd I wamt you al l to mysele'

Did I just send that? What the hell was I doing?! I shouldn't have been drunk texting her! I could feel it; something bad was about to happen.

_Finally_, after about an hour, she texted me back.

'What? I was in a movie'

Oh, great. So she went to a movie with them. I was almost certain that the whole Mark thing was just a cover up and that Carly and Jake were really there alone and made out through the entire movie.

'How was it'

'Good. Wish u came'

I closed my phone and put it on the desk. Did she miss me or something? I should have gone up to the theater right then and told Jake off, giving him an ass beating along with it for fucking with my life. I got up and walked into the living room, looking for my keys, _totally_ aware that I was in no condition to drive. I knew I hadn't misplaced them; they should have been on the key rack where I always left them. I checked my jacket pockets, the belt loop on my pants where they stayed when I wasn't at home or in the car, and everywhere else around the house. Finally I gave up and retreated back to my room where my phone was waiting for me, vibrating and playing my text message ring tone: Love Hurts by Incubus. I picked it up immediately.

'R u still drunk?'

_Was_ I still drunk? No, I had stopped drinking a while ago, but I was still buzzing enough to where my vision was blurred a bit.

'No. Where are my keys?'

';)'

Of course she would take them, knowing that my dumb ass would try and go somewhere.

'Come back home. :('

'K, b there in a bit'

At least here I could keep an eye on her and Jake, if he was stupid enough to come back here with her.

'I'm sorry, Carls.'

'I no. Its ok. I forgive u.'

'Good. Thanks.'

About 20 minutes later she came strolling into the apartment, I was relieved to see that she was alone. I ran up to her immediately and hugged her, telling her again how sorry I was for acting like an asshole earlier.

"It's okay, Sam."

She reassured me, squeezing me tight. I felt like a little girl crying to her mother to forgive her for saying a cuss word or something.

"I just hate it when we fight. Best friends aren't supposed to fight like that."

"I know…I'm sorry."

The whole thing sounded cheesy, I admit, but I didn't care. I was just glad she wasn't mad at me anymore. I pulled away from her, eyes glassy with tears.

"Look, I want you to tell me what's going on. You've been acting weird the past week or so. Usually I can figure you out, but this time it's got me puzzled. I don't quite understand you anymore and that bothers me."

She linked her arm with mine and led me to the couch where we both sat down. We sat in complete silence for a few minutes, save the constant tick tock of the grandfather clock on the wall behind us. Outside I could hear barely anything, but inside my head all my thoughts were screaming at me, telling me a million different things at once.

"Look, Carly. I can't tell you what's going on with me, okay? It's just one of those things that I don't want to tell anyone because it could influence my life in a big way if it were to get out."

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

I sighed.

"Is it something about your mom? Something about your job? Come on, Sam. You're worrying me."

I kept my eyes focused on my socked feet, steadily shaking my head.

"It's nothing. Nothing you need to be worried about, I promise. I'm dealing with it by myself."

She breathed an admittedly defeated sigh.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

I caught her glance, giving her a vulnerable, indignant look.

"Carly, it's not that I don't want to, it's that I _can't_, okay?"

"But why _can't_ you? Do you think I'm gonna freak out and hate you or something?"

I didn't say anything, only looked away from her.

"Sam, there isn't a thing in this world that you could do to make me hate you. You know that."

"It's not that I think you'll hate me…more like that you'll be disgusted by me."

"Sam…"

She put her hand on my arm.

"Carly, I can't tell you. I'm sorry. It's one of my deepest, darkest secrets…"

"What about that time your mom's boyfriend beat you? That was a secret, too, but you told me."

"Not right away…"

"And the time you stole one of your mom's cigarettes and smoked it in your room."

"Yeah, but…that's totally different. Those are both stupid secrets."

"Tell me what's bothering you, please? I have to know."

"You don't _have_ to…you just want to because it's the _one_ thing that you don't know about me."

"No, it's not like that at all. I care about you, and I can see that something's upsetting you. If we talk about it, then there's a chance I might be able to help you."

"I don't think so. There's no one that can help me with this, not even you. This is something I have to deal with by myself."

"Fine. Never mind, then. Deal with it by yourself."

She got up from the couch and started toward her room.

"Carly…"

"No, Sam. If you don't want my help, then I won't offer anymore."

"Carly, it's not-"

"I don't know what I did to you to make you act this way, but I'm sorry. If you're still being pissy about the Jake thing, then s-"

"CARLY!"

"What?"

"Stop, okay?"

She stood there with her arms crossed, staring a hole through my head.

"Carls, I…I care about you a lot, and the last thing I want is for you to be mad at me. It's just impossible for you to understand how much of a toll this is taking on me, and I know that because I know how you are."

"What's that mean? You know how I am?"

I sighed.

"I don't mean anything by it, only that I know you. I know what you're like, I know what your likes and dislikes are and whatever else there is to know about you."

"You don't know _everything_ about me, just like I don't know _everything_ about you."

I didn't respond, only sighed again.

"I give up. You've changed, Sam. I don't know why, and I don't like it too much, either."

"Carly, you're taking this the entirely wrong way. I don't-"

"The wrong way, huh? So it's not that the person I thought was my bed friend is now hiding stuff from me and not telling me anything at all? She's completely devoid of sanity, compassion, and kindness…"

"No, it's not. It's that I'm too embarrassed to tell you what's going on, I'm afraid that if I do, it'll ruin our friendship."

"Oh, it's already ruined, Sam. I can't deal with you when you're like this. I fucking quit."

I couldn't even get a single word out before she stomped out of the living room and into her room, slamming the door behind her.

"God damn it."

I stood up.

"CARLY!"

"Leave me alone!"

Her voice was muffled by her closed door. I darted for the hallway, turning towards her door and shoving it open, not bothering to care that it slammed into the wall on the other side.

"Sam, get the fuck o-"

"I fucking love you, okay?"

Her eyebrows relaxed, warping her angry facial expression into a calmer, thoughtful one.

"I'm _in_ love with you. I have been for years now. I was always just too afraid to tell you because I thought it would ruin our friendship. _But_ I've seen now that it would have ruined it either way, whether I told you or not, if I let on that anything at all was bothering me. I fucked it all up, I know that, and I'm _so_ fucking sorry. I just couldn't push the feeling back anymore. You drive me absolutely _crazy_. There is no 'guy at my work that I have a crush on'. I love _you_, Carly Shay, and I'm sorry… The last thing I want to do is hurt you, and I can see that that is all I've done so far. All I want is for you to be happy, and I think the best way to do that is if I left. Goodbye, Carls."

I didn't even give her time to respond. I gathered up my work jacket and work boots, threw them on, and went out the door. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I'd finally told her, though it didn't turn out the way I'd planned all these years. Then again, I didn't even give her a chance to tell me what she thought about it. Maybe it would be better to give her some time alone to think about it. I pulled out my cell phone and punched in a number. It rang twice before the person on the other end of the line picked up.

"Hey, Mom…I'm coming to stay for a few days…"

**There's number 6. I'm afraid to say it, but chapter 7 maybe bring this baby home. BUT, fear not. I'm planning on creating a sequel to this story. It's the same one, only in Carly's POV. How fun! Thanks for all the reviews and keep it up! I love hearing what you guys think about my writing! Also thinking about putting up a few one-shots that have been floating around in my head. Love you guys!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here it is, the big finale! It's about 400 words shorter than all of my other chapters…but I hope you guys enjoy it, anyway. It's not jam packed with a bunch of juicy drama, but…it's still a great ending! Enjoy!**

_The air was sticky wet from our breath, so much that her bedroom windows were fogged slightly around the edges. Saturday evening had long since faded into Saturday night, and that night I realized that telling Carly was the best decision I had ever made. It was even better than the time I decided that when the deli had a sale on ham it was okay for me to skip school. We laid amongst her cottony pink covers, tangled up in each another. It was dark in Carly's room, save the low light from her bedside lamp which had been dimmed even more so by her stray t-shirt, leaving our hands to roam around and discover what our eyes could not. She let out a soft moan as my rough hand glided across her bare stomach and onto her side._

"_I love you, Carls."_

_She was hesitant to say it back, but that didn't bother me. That was Carly Shay, never saying something unless she was 100% sure it was true. That's how she was with love, at least. I smiled at her and closed my eyes, taking in the full essence of the situation before me._

"_I love you too, Sam."_

_My eyes opened slowly, focusing on hers. She was looking at me with the most thoughtful look in her eyes, smiling from ear to ear. I could tell that she meant it the way I did when I said it._

"_Sam_antha."

My eyes shot open to reveal my mother standing beside me looking down on me, watching me sleep less-than-soundly on the couch in the living room.

"I've got dinner ready, if you'd like some. It's just you and me tonight."

"Oh, thanks, Mom. What are we eating?"

"Pork chops with mashed potatoes and gravy."

My stomach growled just from the thought.

"I'm starving."

"So, what's bothering you? You haven't said much of anything since you got here. And it must be bad, because you never come stay here unless something bad has happened."

"It's nothing, really."

My mother and I were trying this new "friend" thing where I tell her whatever and she doesn't get mad about anything I say or punish me for it.

"Come on, Sam. This won't work unless you talk to me."

I shrugged, sitting down at the thick, wooden dining table.

"It's just…"

"Did something happen with Carly?"

I sighed and looked at her through glossy eyes.

"We talked about this before, Mom, a long time ago. And I got a not-so-appealing reaction from you, so I'm not so sure we should talk about it again."

"Sam, I know how you feel about her. What happened? Did she find out or something?"

"I told her."

"Well, what did she say?"

"Nothing…I left before she had time to say anything."

"Then why are you so upset? You don't even know what she thinks about it. She might feel the same way."

"No, she could never. She's straight, Mom. Straight. What would you do if your best girl friend told you that she was in love with you?"

"I don't-"

"You'd think she was crazy, but not show that you were upset to her face. And from then on, every time you two were in the same room, you'd try and keep a safe distance from her, thinking that she might try and jump you or something."

She remained quiet, setting the food down and joining me at the table in a chair across the way.

"Which is sad…because I'm sure your friend would care enough to respect your sexual preference and not try anything without your consent, but still. You get what I mean. Carly probably thinks I'm gross and doesn't ever want to see me again."

As I finished my sentence, I felt the cell phone in my pocket vibrate. I pulled it out and checked the screen. Fifteen missed calls…all from Carly.

"Is it her?"

"Yeah. She called me fifteen times in the last 2 hours."

It vibrated again.

_New Text Message_

_Carly_

_Saturday, Dec 27 5:30PM_

"Call her back."

"Hell, no. I'm scared to talk to her."

"Sam, she probably wants to talk to you about it and tell you that it's okay."

"Or that she never wants to see me again."

"Samantha, stop being such a pessimist. Everything will be okay."

I moaned miserably and opened the text message.

'Sam pls call me. Im worried. Where r u?'

I sat for a second and contemplated texting her back, steadily fiddling with the buttons on the bottom of my phone. I couldn't do it. I didn't want it to turn into a conversation about my confession. I was too afraid to hear what she thought about it. In my mind, there was absolutely _no_ chance of her feeling the same way. Like I said, Carly Shay liked guys, that was that. I locked my phone and stuck it back in my pocket.

"How long can I stay here, Mom?"

She shrugged.

"As long as you need to."

"Cool. Thanks. Now let's eat. I'm starving."

Four and a half months later, Carly and I still hadn't discussed my feelings. Today was my birthday. I had taken the day off from work so I could spend it extremely wasted; it was my twenty first birthday, after all. Things had gone almost completely back to normal between Carly and me. We were both _pretty much_ speaking normal around each other again, she was still teasing me with every little thing that she did (only she _knew_ it now), and I was still stuck in a never ending battle with myself over her. We had had the 1.5 second "Cupcake" talk and she told it me was fine if I still called her that, because it was like her nickname, anyway. Made me wonder who else called her that. For some reason, Carly thought it would be a great idea to invite Jake, Mark, Freddie, and Heather over for a birthday party that I had originally planned on being just between myself and my three favorite guys: Jose Quervo, Jack Daniels, and The Captain, along with Dr. Pepper, and Peppy Cola. They were all in the living room watching TV and talking amongst themselves while I busied myself in the kitchen with mixing an insanely alcoholic drink that would set my mood to happy for the rest of the night. My alcohol tolerance had grown considerably in the month and a half that I stayed with my mother. She was a big drinker herself and, since I was in the house all the time now, I kept her and her alcohol company. I could hear them out there laughing and carrying on, their voices rose above the TV just enough for me to make out parts of their conversation.

"Carly, I love it! I'd be happy to."

Jake loved _what_? And he would be happy to do _what_?

"That's so sweet. It's probably the best thing you've ever written."

Freddie's shrill voice rose over every noise in the house. That's when I remembered _the poem_. I was right all along. She _had_ written it for Jake and she had just given it to him, on _MY_ birthday at _MY_ party. That was fucked up, especially now that she knew how I felt about her. I took a gulp of my drink angrily.

"Sam!" Carly's voice seemed to penetrate through the wall and refrigerator beside me. I was upset and hurt, and I didn't really want to talk to her right now but I put on a happy face and stuck my head around the corner.

"Yeah, Cupcake?"

The first thing I noticed was Jake sitting on the couch holding Carly's guitar; then Carly sitting next to him; and Mark, Freddie, and Heather all sitting in chairs crowded around the coffee table.

"C'mere for a second."

I did as she said, dragging my feet against the linoleum floor in the living room that continued into the kitchen. Carly was holding her little black notebook in her hands, giving me that signature beautiful smile that only she could wear. I sat down in my recliner on the right side of the couch and sat my drink on the end table.

"What's up?"

"I didn't buy you anything for your birthday…hope you don't mind."

I smiled semi-fake like, thinking that that was the least she could have done after everything she put me through.

"You don't have to get me anything. You know that."

"I know, but…I hope this makes up for it."

I watched as she signaled Jake to start playing, then opened her notebook and positioned it at reading level. He situated his fingers on the strings and began strumming.

_Maybe I'm wrong, you decide_

_Should have been strong, yeah I lied_

_Nobody gets me like you_

_Couldn't keep hold of you then_

_How could I know what you meant_

_There was nothing to compare to_

And then I heard them, the three lines that I read in her diary that night.

_There's a mountain between us_

_But there's one thing I'm sure of_

_That I know how I feel about you_

Why was she singing a song to me that she wrote for-

_Can we bring yesterday back around_

_Cause I know how I feel about you now_

_I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down_

_But I know how I feel about you now_

_I'll bet it takes one more chance_

_Don't let our last kiss be our last_

_I'm out of my mind just to show you_

So she remembered the kiss after all…

_I know everything changes_

_I don't care where it takes us_

_Cause I know how I feel about you_

_Can we bring yesterday back around_

_Cause I know how I feel about you now_

_I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down_

_But I know how I feel about you now_

_Not a day passed me by, not a day passed me by_

_When I don't think about you_

_And there's no moving on_

_Cause I know you're the one_

_And I can't be without you_

_Can we bring yesterday back around_

_Cause I know how I feel about you now_

_I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down_

_But I know how I feel about you now_

_Can we bring yesterday back around_

_Cause I know how I feel about you now_

_I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down_

_But I know how I feel about you now_

_But I know how I feel about you now_

"Yeah, I know how I feel about you now."

My eyes fell from her and landed on the ratty Converse All-Stars that were on tied on my feet. I traversed every inch of them; if my eyes had lasers in them, the threads would have caught on fire for sure. I could feel the stares of everyone else in the room beating down on me. I didn't know what to say to her. Wasn't sure is I should run up to her, hug her, and tell her that I loved her or to play it cool. Cool was the Puckett style, of course, but my emotions were taking over my common sense at this point. I knew I was blushing, I could feel it on every bit of skin from my collarbone to the top of my head. Mom was right… But how did she know? I was so nervous, thinking about what I should say; I could hear my heart beating all the way up in my ears, even though I was almost certain it had dropped to my ankles.

"You wrote that for…me?"

She nodded, grinning.

"Now do you see why I didn't want you to read it?"

I smirked. Now everything made sense. The constant teasing, wanting to be close to me all the time…it all fit together perfectly.

"Yeah…"

"Happy birthday, Sam."

"Thanks, Carls."

She beamed, coming toward me for a hug. I stood up and welcomed her into my tight embrace. Everyone was silent.

"I love you, Sam. And I'm sorry I got so upset at you for not telling me…"

"It's cool. I should have known better than to try and hide something from you."

She giggled, looking up at me. Yes, if I hadn't mentioned it earlier, I was finally taller than Carly. After all those years of being shorter, when I hit 18 I had a growth spurt and shot up about 2 inches taller than her. It wasn't much, but it was enough. She took the newly acquired, blue Bud Light beanie from my head and threw it on the chair behind us; then ran her fingers through my hair, her nails massaging my scalp unintentionally. When reaching the back of my head, she balled up her fists and pulled gently; it sent chills down my spine and tingling sensations to places that they didn't need to be.

"Carly…"

My voice was raspy and thick with desire; I didn't even sound like myself. I tightened my hold around her waist, grabbing handfuls of her shirt and pulling her towards me. She smirked wickedly and arched an eyebrow, resting her arms around my neck. Somehow, my right hand found its way up to the back of her head; and I pulled her in close for a kiss, tilting my head to the side and closing my eyes. She did the same and, as our lips met, I could have sworn I heard fireworks popping in the background followed by an elongated "Awww." from the group behind her. This time was so much different from the New Year's party: we were both totally sober and neither of us were pushed into it, it was completely voluntary on her part. Maybe telling her _was_ the best decision I had ever made. Not only was I getting tons of personal satisfaction out of this,; I was thoroughly enjoying the fact that Freddie had to sit and watch me kiss Carly, something he had been wanting to do for years; even longer than I had. We broke the kiss simultaneously and pulled out of the hug.

"So how _do_ you feel about me now?"

I smirked. She giggled, acting skittishly.

"I love you. I'm sure of it."

I smiled full on.

"I've never told anyone else that before; except my family, of course, but not in the same way. You just get me, Sam. And now, now you know _everything_ there is to know about me."

I chuckled a little, leaning a little to the side and peering over Carly's shoulder at everyone else. As soon as they saw me looking, they all looked away from us. I laughed.

"I know you guys are thirsty. Isn't that why you're here? To party? Let's get started."

I finally got what I wanted: Carly Shay. My life was pretty much complete now. The only thing left for me to want was a lifetime supply of ham. My heart fluttered at the thought off all the sweet, juicy, honey glazed goodness that would be available to me twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and three-hundred and sixty five days a year. But, in all honesty, I'd pick Carly over ham any day of the week because I love her so much. What was it that I loved about Carly so much, anyway? First of all, since I was a very shallow person, she was just…beautiful, hot, sexy…the list could go on and on. She was smart, making straight A's all through middle school and high school, except that one time I changed her grade from a B to an A; she was nice, sweet, and _so_ caring; and she just…her personality was amazing. Just being around her was enough to brighten my day. I had been with a fair amount of girls, but there was never a one that I could look at and say "I love you." to and even halfway mean it; not one. And there hadn't been a single one that I'd have chosen over Carly. I loved her with all of my heart, as sappy as it sounded, and I wasn't going to let her go for any reason whatsoever. See, when I would watch TV or read books, I always hated it when two characters ended up together and lived happily ever after; it was just cheesy; but honestly, I would have loved for our life to end up that way, even though I knew that would probably never happen. It would have been nice, though.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this_

_Cause you're all I want, you're all I need  
You're everything, everything_

**Well, there it is, guys! Hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Be looking out for the first chapter of the "sequel", **_**iNeed You**_**, that will be written from Carly's POV. Reviews are awesome and I always enjoy getting them. Thanks to all of you who read, reviewed, and everything else! Love you guys!**


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